The Beauty Of Isolation
As I sat down to write this post, I wondered how I would find the words to explain the “beauty” in isolation. The two words don’t really seem to coincide.
In hindsight, I can look back, and see how being isolated changed my life. During the process of my loneliest days, I can honestly say that “beauty” was nowhere to be found.
Let’s go back…
In 2010, I was a single mother, with a then 3-year-old daughter. I had just moved to my new duty assignment. By this time, I had been in the Air Force for over seven years, but this assignment was different from everything that I was used to.
I was hours away from my family, and most of my friends. This meant, no more convenient weekend road trips. On top of the distance, my daughter suffered from asthma.
From the time my daughter was one years old, we were constantly in, and out of doctor’s offices, hospitals and emergency rooms. It seemed like she was sick ALL THE TIME. Of course, this meant that I was always missing time away from work.
It was such a stressful time in my life. Not only was I dealing with that, but I was also dealing with extreme loneliness. My dating life was non-existent. I mean, who had time to date? Not only was my dating life non-existent, but so were babysitters.
I would lay in the bed, on so many nights, and cry out to God. “God do you see me?” “Why am I being punished?” “Are you there?” “Why does my child always have to be sick?” “Will things ever change?” “Will I be a single parent forever?”
I felt like I was all alone.
Prior to that season in my life, I can be honest, and say that God was the last thing on my to-do-list. I had grown up in church all my life. I knew God was real, but I didn’t have a “relationship” with Him.
You may be reading this, and you may be wondering, “Ok, where is the beauty?”
The beauty is this, it was during this time, that I fell,
ABSOLUTELY HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH GOD!
It was in that place, that I learned who God was, and how much He loved me. It was in that place, that I developed a hunger for God. I just wanted to know more about Him.
It was in that place, that God led me to the most AMAZING church. I became a member of Redemption Church, in Greenville, South Carolina (now called, Relentless Church and still amazing).
Being a part of that church for 3 years changed my life. The atmosphere there is amazing and unexplainable. It was there, that I developed a heart of worship.
In addition to all those things, it was in that place, that God began to show me WHO I WAS.
I began to learn more about myself. I developed passions, and talents that I never knew were in me. Before that season of my life, I never even knew I had a creative side. I had never taken the time to learn more about “ME”.
I had to be “isolated”, in order to get a true understanding of not only who God was, but also who He created me to be. Through that season, I learned to persevere and trust God.
It’s no longer just my daughter and I anymore. After that season of my life, I married a wonderful man, and gained two amazing sons. Thankfully, my daughter’s asthma has gotten SO MUCH BETTER as well.
For so long, I thought I was being punished. I thought God had forgotten about me. Not only had God not forgotten me, but he loved me so much, that he wanted me all to himself! God was shaping me to be the woman, that he already knew I was.
Are you feeling isolated today? Lonely? Like God has forgotten you? Try changing your perspective. God loves you so much, that he wants to show you ALL the wonderful things, that He has placed on the inside of you.
“God already knows who you are. He just wants you to know it too.”
I hope that after reading this, you too, can find the “beauty” in your isolation.
Today’s Reading: Isaiah 41:10, Romans 8:28
Isaiah 41:10 (NLT) “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
Romans 8:28 (NLT) “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”